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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29600559">The Aftermath.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanriolove/pseuds/sanriolove'>sanriolove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, F/F, F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character death - Freeform, Platonic Relationships, Sasha and Reader are Siblings, Spoilers for Season Four Episode Eight, but jean and reader are dating, mainly focuses on familial and platonic relationships, season four spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:16:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,324</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29600559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanriolove/pseuds/sanriolove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Incident and its Aftermath.</p><p>Contains: Season Four, Episode Eight Spoilers, Angst, Character Death, Blood.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connie Springer &amp; Reader, Jean Kirstein &amp; Reader, Jean Kirstein/Reader, Mikasa Ackerman &amp; Reader, Sasha Blouse &amp; Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Moment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! This is my first work on Archive of Our Own. I hope you enjoy it :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It happens faster than you can even blink.</p><p>One moment, you have an arm lazily hooked around your sister’s shoulder as you both, along with Connie, tease Jean about his inability to properly grow facial hair. After an intense, but successful battle, you are more than happy to indulge in such a trivial and mundane conversation. Among some of your closest friends and your sister, a swell of gratefulness blooms within your chest that you all have once again survived to live another day.</p><p>The next, a loud bang rings out through the air.</p><p>Your eyes are immediately drawn to the origin of the sound to assess if there’s a potential threat, but before you can pinpoint the cause of the noise, your grip on Sasha is forcibly loosened as she falls back onto the ground.</p><p>Your head immediately jerks in the direction of your sister.</p><p>Redness clouds your vision.</p><p>Blood.</p><p>You fall to your knees as Connie loudly cries out, “Sasha!”</p><p>Your mind is hazy, people are shouting and another gunshot goes off, but your eyes remain transfixed on the bullet wound that tears straight through Sasha's chest.</p><p>No, no, no.</p><p>“Sasha, fuck, hold on.” You don’t have any bandages on you so you clumsily place your hand on top of her wound, desperate to stem the seemingly never-ending stream of blood leaking from there. Her normally vibrant brown eyes are glassy and out of focus when Jean and Connie harshly drop down onto the ground beside you.</p><p>“Sasha, I'll kill you if you die on me,” you threaten, voice cracking in the middle of the sentence. Your hand remains steady on her chest, but with each passing second, more blood coats your fingers.</p><p>“Stay with us,” Connie demands, placing a gentle touch on your sister’s cheek to which she doesn’t respond to.</p><p>A horrifyingly long moment of silence passes before Sasha says something.</p><p>Her voice is so uncharacteristically <em>soft</em>, and paralyzing fear quickly crawls up your spine because in all of her years of living, your sister has never been this quiet.</p><p>“Sasha, I need you so you can’t die, you hear me?” you plead. Wetness coats your eyelashes, but you refuse to tear your eyes away from Sasha’s paling face.</p><p>“Cover the wound, hurry!” Jean barks out at a nearby soldier as Connie urges Sasha to just hold You’re forced aside by two of your fellow soldiers so they can bandage Sasha's bullet wound. Connie kneeled down by your side as Jean stands somewhere behind you. Your gaze remains on Sasha's face, desperately searching for <em>something</em> as you tightly clasp her hand with your own. Redness coats her lips and spills from the side of her mouth, staining the wooden floor beneath her.</p><p><em>She’ll be fine</em>, you tell yourself, <em>she has to be</em>.</p><p>“These two got up here using Lobov’s vertical maneuvering equipment.”</p><p>Your head twists to the side at the sound of Floch’s voice, intent on seeing who is responsible for your sister’s injury. Your eyes widen an imperceptible amount when they land on two children - neither of which can be older than thirteen. You quickly assess them, looking them over before diverting your attention back to Sasha once more.</p><p>Her eyes are nearly shut and she’s considerably paler than she was only a few moments prior. The blood that’s spilt from the corner of her slightly agape mouth is a stark contrast against her skin. It almost looks like she’s sleeping, you think. all that’s missing is her incessant snoring that you’ve been forced to deal with all your life.</p><p>One of the children, the girl, is screaming now, going on about how you’re devils and how they plan on carrying on Zeke's will. You mentally scoff, children can be so stupid. You tune her out, trusting Jean to take care of the situation at hand.</p><p>Connie's moved closer to you, his shoulder nearly brushing against yours, as you both watch Sasha's form. Her hand still remains firmly clasped in yours as if you can force Sasha to stay with you that way. You disregard the fact that her blood coats your joined hands. Neither of you dare to speak as Jean leads the captives to where Eren and the rest of your close comrades are in the other room.</p><p>A few moments pass before Armin and Mikasa bolt through the door with Sasha's name on each of their lips. They collapse onto the floor near you and Connie, and you relinquish your hold on your sister when Mikasa moves to gently turn Sasha onto her back.</p><p>Tears cloud your vision and begin to steadily drip down your cheeks - Sasha’s chest is no longer moving. Sasha's not breathing, her chest isn’t moving up and down as it should. There’s no rise and fall, and before you allow yourself to break down right then and there, you remind yourself that you are a <em>soldier</em> and you have a duty to carry out.</p><p>You force yourself onto your feet and place a palm on Connie's shoulder. Words aren’t needed between the two of you and Connie stands up to follow you. The door opens with a creak, drawing the attention of its occupants to you. Connie lingers behind you before crossing the threshold to stand by your side. You look at your palms, which are coated with a distinct crimson that doesn’t belong to you, before looking up with blurry eyes.</p><p>You take a shallow breath in order to say the next two words.</p><p>“<em><strong>Sasha's dead</strong></em>.”</p><p>All it took was a moment.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Silence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The quiet is deafening. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The solemn atmosphere that’s now replaced the once jovial celebration of the scouts is nearly suffocating. It’s difficult for you to believe that only a little while ago, your comrades were reveling in Paradis’ supposed victory. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This doesn’t feel like one.</span>
  </em>
  <span></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The soft whirring of the aircraft’s engine and the slight shuffling of soldiers around are all muted to you as you sit alone in a darkened corner on the harsh wooden planks of the floor.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Your knees are drawn up close to your chest as you blankly stare at your hands outstretched in front of you. With your palms turned up, you can’t tear your eyes away from the redness that stains them. You can’t look away from the blood that once belonged to your sister.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You ball them into fists and let them drop onto your kneecaps, and lean your forehead against your knees. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>When will it end?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A warm hand gently lands on your shoulder and without even looking, you already know who it is. With your head still firmly pressed against your knees, you allow Jean to slowly unfurl your clenched fists. Dark crescents mar your palms and you feel a trickle of cool liquid drip onto them before Jean drags a damp washcloth over them, cleansing your hands of the dried blood that coats them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He works slowly, dragging the cloth over every crevice of your palm and in between each of your fingers. He pretends to not notice the way your shoulders begin to shake or the muffled sobs that escape pass your sealed lips. Once he’s sure that your hands are entirely clean, Jean takes a seat down beside you and tiredly sighs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After taking a few deep ragged breaths, a futile attempt to regain some composure, you turn your head to the side to look at the man you’ve loved since you were trainees. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His knees rest against his chest, similar to you, and his hands are firmly pressed over his ears as strands of his grown out hair are harshly entangled in between his fingers. His stare is directed towards the ground, but you can make out the tear-stains that are still in the process of drying on his cheeks. You reach out, gently tugging Jean's hand away from his face and forcing him to loosen his grip on his hair. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who’s going to steal food off of my plate now?” You blurt out. You rub your thumb over the backside of Jean's hand, an action that brings comfort to the both of you. Tears blur the corners of your vision once more as you focus your attention on the action of moving your thumb back and forth over and over again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jean lets out a watery chuckle and leans his head against yours. He flips his palm upward and folds his fingers over yours before sighing heavily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he admits. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The silence that fills the room is unsettling. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ever since your first encounter with a titan all those years ago, you’ve suffered from nightmares and insomnia, but that’s not what’s keeping you away from sleep tonight. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the distinct lack of a certain sound is what’s causing sleep to elude you this evening. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You don’t know whether you want to laugh or cry at the fact you can’t fall asleep without Sasha's obnoxious snoring. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Turning onto your side, you pull the thread-barren blanket that’s pooled around your chest back up to your chin and look out the window. Your eyes follow the thin trail of moonlight that seeps through the glass of the window. The faint light dully illuminates the interior of the room, and your eyes fall upon your remaining roommate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You know Mikasa can’t sleep either. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If one were to just briefly look over at Mikasa, they’d think she was fully asleep. Lying flat on her back and completely still on top of her cot, one might even mistaken her for dead. But after being roommates for so long, you’ve come to know the subtleties that distinguish whether she’s awake or not. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s almost unnoticeable and you have to strain your ears to even hear it, but Mikasa’s breathing pattern is off. If she were asleep, her breaths would be nice and deep and there’d be a certain rhythm to it. Right now, her breathing is erratic, a mesh of shallow inhales and deep exhales as if she’s trying to catch her breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neither of you can fall asleep without the cacophony known as Sasha’s snoring. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s something that worsened as Sasha aged. When you were kids, you used to threaten that you’d smother Sasha with a pillow if she continued to make so much noise at night. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But now as you lie awake in the middle of the night, you miss it more than anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You sit up straight in your bunk and toss your legs over the side. The ground is cool against your bare feet, but you pay it no mind. Curling your blanket around your body, you patter over to where Mikasa is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“C’mon,” you whisper, placing a hand on her bare arm. Her gaze shifts from the bottom of the empty bunk above her to you. “I’ll make us some tea right now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mikasa doesn’t reply, but gives you a small nod before hoisting herself out of bed as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You both will have to learn how to become accustomed to the quiet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Out of all of your friends, there is nobody who can really understand how you feel right now besides Connie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sasha was family to the both of you - your other half. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Although you loved your sister with all your heart, you were overjoyed that she managed to find someone like Connie to stick by her side. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You fully believe that Connie and your sister were soulmates if such a thing were true. Whether platonic or romantic, there’s no arguing that the two complemented one another like no other. You couldn’t have Connie without Sasha, just like how you couldn’t have Sasha without Connie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They brought out the best in each other and never failed to lighten the mood amongst your friends whenever things got too dreary. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>God, you miss your sister. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t go unnoticed by you how Connie will turn to the side while your friends are walking around town with some remark on the tip of his tongue just to clamp his mouth shut once he realizes no one’s there. Or how his eyes linger on the spot to your left for a few seconds longer than necessary before flickering back up to meet your gaze when he greets you and Jean. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mealtimes are the worst.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You used to look forward to them; you may not have had the same appetite as Sasha did, but you appreciated the opportunity to eat as well as the time to spend with those closest to you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now, you nearly dread them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An effort at minimal small talk is made at the table before it quickly dies off as you all push around the food that’s been prepared for your meal. The quality of your meals has improved since the days you were cadets, but not by much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sasha would’ve loved this.” The sound of Connie's voice breaks the silence. With his elbow lying on top of the table, Connie's head rests in his hand as he spoons through the porridge in his bowl. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you agree quietly, looking down at your own meal, “she would’ve.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jean places a hand over yours, and you shoot a grateful smile his way. Another gap of silence fills the air once more as you all soak in Connie's words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think we should enjoy every meal we’re able to spend together.” The firmness in your voice startles both Jean and Connie who turn to look your way. “And once this damn war is over, we’re going to travel all over the world and taste all the food there is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tilting your head up, you look at Connie sitting across from you. His eyes are still filled with weariness, but he gives you a small, but genuine smile in return.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” he says while nodding. Jean squeezes your hand in agreement and you all go back to eating your food. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mealtimes will forever remind you of Sasha, but the quietness that proceeds isn’t as stifling as it once was.</span>
</p>
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